Stuck On Capitalism

I began this project by creating a portfolio and completely drying up all my printer ink. I've spent weeks browsing tinyhouseblog.com and landandfarm.com for properties I love and cabins I could call home. I organized a binder chalk-full of images and ideas. I've paid attention to each detail, drawing cabinets and measuring headspace in the loft. I'm ready to go. However, I have one simple problem. I like cash.

I recently took-up a vinyls hobby, purchased 5 containers of tea leaves, have my eyes on a chair at overstock.com, and I've been scouting out a new car since my current vehicle is on its way to a junkyard. In other words, my taste for products continues to grow and a recent raise doesn't help my desire to walk away and discern.

As I've done my homework and wasted days dreaming about my hut in the woods, I've concluded that my problems are far greater than walking away from a job or choosing what I own that is worth keeping. I've made similar decisions in the past and I credit each of those instances for serious character development.

The issue is not my ability to make the decision but the circumstances that are preventing it. Sure, I'm afraid of not finding future employment. I'm terrified of becoming a member of the "lost generation." I'm timid to give up my responsibilities. My path towards readjusting my priorities is stunted by one pinching and obnoxious variable: the simple life is expensive. It is difficult to choose a simple way of being. Undoubtedly there are ways of going about it, just look at all the mid-twenty year olds doing their thing in Brooklyn. But what about the guy who wants to reconnect with nature, yet not live a hundred miles away from a town with a library?

The choice to live simply and in nature is complicated and becoming increasingly unachievable. I believe that one should be able to enjoy nature through sustainable living and by making good choices. Because this is becoming an increasingly unreachable option, I'd argue that it is an example of environmental and communal injustice. Some may think that is a shocking claim. After all, there are plenty of stereotypes about "hicks" and "rednecks," the supposed uneducated and uncivilized among us.  Those with pragmatic life skills while the rest of us have to google how to grow green beans in our community gardens. We look down on those beyond the 'burbs. But even their lives are hard to get close to, its costly to live among them. However, any attitude that shuns anyone's desire to do so is disconnected from the Green Movement and spirituality of a Naturalist.

So, I'm dragging my feet. I'm dragging my feet because it's not easy to jump ship when you're comfortable. I'm buying faux leather ottomans because when I crunch the numbers I don't see how I can buy or rent a parcel and build a hut. I'm sticking to my complacent groove because I'm not sure how to sustain my need to eat, desire to work some sort of job, and I struggle to disconnect my sense of self with the type of work I do, as if work defines who I am. These are old, well-voiced problems. I'm not introducing a new challenge to the simple life, but I am trying to figure out where I go from here so that I can skip town before another ottoman shows-up on the front porch.